


Cocaine

by fragilou



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Angst, Drug Use, F/F, F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-20
Updated: 2013-01-20
Packaged: 2017-11-26 05:46:02
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,037
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/647196
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fragilou/pseuds/fragilou
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>And when Niall feels alone and left-out and there's nobody to watch out for him, he does stupid things. Like really stupid things.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Cocaine

**Author's Note:**

> Umm…this is the first english oneshot I’ve ever written, I’m german so…  
> I don’t think anyone will read this but whatever, if you read it thank you :)  
> (and maybe leave kudos and comments? thanks x)

# Cocaine

  
-  
  
At some point Niall just didn’t feel like a real part of One Direction anymore. Maybe it was always this way and he just didn’t notice until now. It’s _LiamandZayn_ and _LouisandHarry_ and then there is Niall. Alone.  
  
-  
  
He knows they never meant to hurt him. They just don’t notice how alone he feels and he doesn’t blame them, because it really isn’t their fault.  
Even if they are huddled together on one small couch, he still feels so alone and out of place and like he’s destroying everything and the hate messages really don’t make it any better.  
  
-  
  
Sometimes they forget about him. They forget to order pizza for him when they all order pizza and it’s just small things but they hurt him so much and his heart feels so broken because he’s lonely and he doesn’t like being lonely and forgotten and he just wants everything to be like it used to be.  
  
-

The first time Niall sniffs cocaine he’s madly dunk.

He’s clubbing. Alone. Like always. The boys spend time together somewhere, they asked him to come with them but he didn’t want to disturb them so he decided to go out somewhere and ended up in this dark club. The music is way too loud, the smell of sweat is in the air and he feels like he can’t breathe anymore but he doesn’t care. He just drinks more. Tries to block out the thoughts of _You are not good enough_ , _they don’t need you_ and _they are better off without you_. It doesn’t really work but it’s better than earlier when he was sober.

The club is full of strangers, body’s pressing against him, people touching his skin and if he wasn’t so drunk he would’ve panicked with all these people around him, grabbing, touching. Suddenly there’s a girl in front of him, dark hair, beautiful brown eyes, pale skin and a perfect body.  
She smiles at him, her eyes sparkling looking at him like he’s the most beautiful person in the world. But not like the fans look at him, it’s _him_ who she’s admiring. Not the world star, but the boy.

They dance for a while and then she leans in and whispers into his ear.  
“Come with me, I can show you a place where we can have a lot more fun.” she smirks and takes his hand. He doesn’t think twice and follows her.  
They take a taxi, hands still intertwined and she still has that look in her eyes and it actually feels good. He feels wanted, needed.  
Her eyes wander hungrily over his body. Everything’s a bit blur and he’s dizzy but he doesn’t really care.

They come to a big mansion. She leads him inside and it’s full of people he even sees some familiar faces but maybe it’s just the alcohol in his veins. The people seem different than the ones from the club. He thinks he sees some famous ones he spots Cara Delevingne who is a friend of Harry’s. He also thinks he’s spotted Justin Bieber but he’s not so sure about that.

The girl leads him to a big dining room with a glass table.  
She puts him on a chair and sits down beside him and for a short moment her pink lips touch his and they taste like a mix of strawberries and something like chili. It’s weird but he thinks it tastes delicious.

Then she takes something out of a bag which lies on the table. He can’t really see what it is until she pours the white powder over the table and with a smirk she gives him a rolled up banknote. Somewhere back in his head a voice tells him, this isn’t right. He shouldn’t do this. But he doesn’t want to be a responsible person now, that was always Liam’s role and Liam was always the one who hold him back and stopped him from doing stupid things. But now Liam isn’t here and maybe, maybe Niall actually wants to punish him with that and somehow in his drunk, twisted mind this actually makes sense.

So he takes the banknote, hears her whispering words of how beautiful he is and how much better he will feel when he did this, so he just starts to sniff it and first it hurts like hell and he feels every single grain in his nose and it just hurts and then there’s joy. He feels so happy suddenly. It’s been a while since he has felt such a pure, bright happiness. The first time he sang in front of thousands of people screaming his name, celebrating Christmas and his Birthday with his family and the day One Direction was formed.

He feels like he’s flying, like he can do anything. The people around him are suddenly his friends, he dances with them and he kisses them and laughs with them. Everything is so bright and beautiful and he loves his life so much. Everything is spinning in a wonderful way and everyone’s just so beautiful and he wishes that this night will never end.

Body’s are pressed against him but he likes it, they tell him he’s beautiful and he looks like an angel and how he’s just so amazing. And Niall laughs. He laughs and laughs and everything is wonderful.

At some point he goes out and runs through the snow. He didn’t realize it was winter, last time he checked it was still summer but maybe he just slept too long. So he runs through the snow and makes snow angels and he hears people laughing, telling each other that “the guy is high as fuck” and “this looks so crazy but I love it” and suddenly there are other people around him doing the same thing and he’s not alone anymore and he’s just sooo happy.

And then he begins to feel bad. He feels stressed and nervous and not happy anymore and he just wants to be happy and free again and he wants his wings back, he wants to fly again. So there’s the girl again and the table and the powder and he’s happyhappyhappy and everything’s great.  
So damn great.  


**Author's Note:**

> So, this is quiet short. I posted it on tumblr first and I'm thinking about doing a second part :)


End file.
